When I opened it, I just had to "try it out", so I threw it on over my jeans and t-shirt and went out to my patio for a cup of coffee. Sat there feelin' special, admiring Grace's talent. It was good.
I'm so glad the weekend is here. Today was just way too long, and my sixth period class was just... just... something!! I had the distinct privilege of teaching about "the excretory system" to a class of 7th and 8th graders. A treat that was, let me tell you.
I knew it could get dicey, but I was prepared: Sober face... serious tone of voice... matter-of-fact attitude. But come on people-- how do you talk to kids that age about poop, pee and farts in a dignified manner?? (Of course the book uses words like "feces", "urine", and "flatulence", which is even more uproariously hilarious to the kids!!)
I have to give them credit. They tried; they really did. Volunteered to read aloud and the whole nine yards. But tell me, how does a cute 8th grade boy read aloud to his classmates about constipation without cracking up?? It simply CANNOT be done. No way. No how.
One boy propped his book up on his desk to spare me seeing the tears rolling down his cheeks. However, the book was not large enough to hide his shaking shoulders. It was the kids, not the subject matter, that had me in stitches. I knew I should set the example, but there I was with my bird's-eye view of all of them. Each one would start to read with such confidence, and within a sentence or two I'd hear their voice start to quaver.
At first, I was able to hide my laughter from the kids (ya, right!), but after a while it just got to be too much. I finally just gave up and became part of the meyhem. What kind of teacher am I? Should I be fired? Locked up somewhere, perhaps?
I'll never be the same. Permanently scarred I am. And heaven help me, the reproductive system is only a few pages away....